Nightmare
by CocoDot11
Summary: Every night Zuko wakes up afraid from his reoccurring dream about Azula. But he isn't afraid of the dream, he is afraid that it was only a dream. Looking back on Zuko and Azula's childhood and how she turned out the way she did.


**Hello! This is my first Avatar fic and I hope you all like it. It focuses on Zuko because I love him to death xD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar or any of the characters. If I did, Ozai would have had more depth. :P**

**Enjoy!**

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Zuko knew he had everything someone could want. A country full of millions of loyal subjects, a beautiful loving wife, two adorable children, and great friends. And yet he wasn't really happy…

Zuko awoke in a cold sweat.

"Azula!"

He woke his wife and seeing the fear in his eyes she comforted him, telling him that it would be okay. That Azula was locked away and he would never see her again. Zuko smiled, thanked her, and watched her as she fell asleep. Once he knew she was asleep he cried. Because Azula was locked away. Because she turned out the way she did.

_When had she began to drift away?_

He still remembered when she had just been a baby. He had played with her. His happiness at being an older brother.

_Where has that innocence gone?_

He remembered when she was just two years old. He had been watching her and when he looked away for a second he heard her cry. She had fallen of the steps, her tiny hand scraped and bleeding. Little Zuko had scooped her up and rushed her to the doctor. He remembered promising never to let her get hurt again. He remembered promising to protect her.

_Where did those promises go?_

He remembered playing with her when she was five. She was always running around and jumping on things. Zuko ran after her, worried to death that she might hurt herself. Azula would run back and hug her brother, saying "I wanna marry brother when I grow up."

_When did their happiness end?_

He remembered when she was six years old. She had happily picked some flowers in the garden. She had made a wreath of them wearing them proudly on her head. She had been showing Zuko when Ozai ripped them from her hands, throwing them to the ground, and telling she didn't need anything like flowers. Azlua had cried so hard, upset about her ruined wreath. Zuko had been about to stand up for her when, in an attempt to remedy her "mistake," she picked up the remains of the flower and quickly burnt them. She was making fire at the age of six. Zuko was eight. He still couldn't bend. Ozai praised her and denounced Zuko. Zuko left the room.

Looking back, Zuko wished he had helped her.

_Was that when the cute little sister began to fade?_

Zuko remembered seething when Azula beat him in fire bending, over and over again. He remembered being jealous of her special lessons with father. He saw the bruises she got from those lessons as proof father loved her more.

_How could I have been so blind? _

He would sneak away to watch their lessons and watch as his father hurt Azula every time she messed up. He would pull her hair and hit her. Zuko became worried for his younger sister. Then their father would tell her how special she was and Zuko would forget all about it.

_Why didn't I save her?_

He remembered their mother comforting him whenever his father was mean. She never knew Azula needed it too.

_I should have told her._

He remembered Azula laughing at him. Calling him a failure.

_I deserved it. I failed her as a brother._

He remembers when Azula chased him down. He remembers feeling betrayed

_I betrayed HER._

He remembers Ember Island. He remembers what Azula said at the campfire. She had passes it off as nothing, but behind that their had been a cry for help.

_Why didn't I listen?_

He remembers his final battle with Azula. He remembers the lightning shot he took for Katara. He remembers thinking he was going to die.

_I deserved to die._

He remembers being saved. He remembers locking her away.

_Why couldn't I have saved her earlier? How could I have let this happen?_

Playing as children. Promises of Protection. Happiness. Fire. Fire. Fire. Anger. Blindness.

_Why didn't I protect her?_

Anger. Anger. Emptiness.

_Why didn't I protect her?_

He falls back asleep. It's the same nightmare that he has every night. He is with Azula as they grow up. But in this world he stands up for her. In this world they are friends. In this world they stand up against their father. In this world they run away from their grand-father. Together. With Ursa. In this world they are happy. In this world it all turns out ok.

_Azula. Azula. Azula._

It is a wonderful dream. But when he wakes up he is afraid. Afraid that it wasn't real. Depressed when he realized that's all it was. His dream isn't a nightmare, his life is the nightmare. He wants to go back. He wishes he could make his dream a reality. He wishes Azula were there. He misses the sweet girl she used to be. He cries alone because no one else would understand. They know her as a monster. He knows she didn't want to become one. He remembers her childish moments. He remembers when she began to change.

_Why didn't I save her? Why didn't I protect her? How could I have let father hurt her?_

_I deserved to die._

_I still do._

_Why did I just push her away? How could I not notice her cries for help? Azula. Azula. Azula. Why didn't I help you._

He watches his children play. His vision blurs and for a second its him and Azula. A tear escapes his eye.

His young son makes a flame. The servants gasp. People crowd around him in awe. He's only five. Zuko sees his older son run off. He goes to his younger son. He congratulates him. But that night he tells his older son stories of the past. Great accomplishments of non-benders. He tries to stop the pattern between the siblings of the royal family. It turn out ok between the brothers.

_Why couldn't it have been that way for us?_

Zuko still dreams every night. He wakes up crying.

_Azula. Azula. Azula. _

People everywhere condemn his sister. Everyone loves him. Everyone hates her. He loves her. He misses her.

_Azula. Azula. Azula. _

He cuts himself every time he wakes up from his dream.

_Azula. Azula. Azula. _

He has had that dream for the past six years.

_Azula. Azula. Azula. _

He has that dream every night.

_Azula. Azula. Azula. _

He wakes up three or four times a night.

_Azula. Azula. Azula. _

Katara notices the cuts one day, but he doesn't explain.

_Azula. Azula. Azula. _

All his friends are worried for him. He hasn't been acting normal.

_Azula. Azula. Azula. _

One day his uncle visits.

_Azula. Azula. Azula. _

He gets Zuko to explain.

_Azula. Azula. Azula. _

He tells Zuko it wasn't his fault.

_But it was. I could have saved her. Why didn't I save her?_

He seems to get better, but he's just given up.

_Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. Azula. __Azula. Azula. ____Azula. _

Zuko only physically cries when he's completely alone.

But his heart is crying all the time.

_Why didn't I protect her?_

A passing servant mentions Azula. Something she did recently. Zuko remembers that she is locked away, but not physically gone.

_Why aren't I saving her?_

He imagines her at the hospital. He imagines how much hatred she must suffer from.

_Why aren't I helping her right now?_

Zuko visits Azula.

_I have to save her._

He dismisses the guards and stands with her alone.

_Azula. Azula. Azula._

She is silent no matter what he says.

_Can I still save her? _

He cries in front of her. He shows her all the cuts. He tells her he's sorry. He tells her how much he regrets never saving her.

_Azula. Azula. Azula._

She cries too.

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**I hope you liked it...and if you did... review please :D :D reviews make my day. constructive criticism is always appreciated and flamers, just go away.**

**I always felt like there were reasons Azula turned out the way she did and also that Zuko would miss her more than he seemed to in the show.**

******Sorry if Zuko seemed a bit OOC. **  



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